Almost a year...

Really?! I cannot believe it has been so long since I have written a post.  I guess that could be a good thing - life is certainly getting back to normal.

As I looked at the blog and realized my last post was almost a year ago - I couldn't help but think "WOW!"  I just put this year's meet on my calendar - October 15.

So of course it made me reflect on this past year and I am very happy to say that it has been a good year for my family and I.  My son is growing into an amazing young man and turned 15 this year.  We finally took that roadtrip we have talked about for years (you can see some fun photos here).  I have made it another year past my surgery date (this is the one I base my time off of - I can remember it) and am working toward my five year mark. My sweet husband and I had our twentieth anniversary (that is a big deal - applause). I am teaching art a couple days a week in a local studio and that has been a lot of fun (you can see that here).  Yes in deed - It has been a very good year.

Health wise - I am feeling pretty good.  Side effects from various things seem to be creeping up and creating issues, but I will save that for another post.  My next big scans are scheduled for October 14 - so with mcuh anticipation and fingers crossed, that too will go well.

SWIMMERS...Getting Wet to Save the Set

I have to say this month has been full of all sorts of fundraisers, various calls for Breast Cancer support, school support, etc. BUT when my son brought this home I thought "How Fun!"

University, DeLand, & Atlantic High Schools

SWIMMERS

Getting Wet to Save the Set

My son currently swims with his High School Swim Team and they are participating in a special  swim meet on October 8 where all the proceeds go to our local Cancer Center. Obviously this is near and dear to me on a variety of levels - I want to support my son and his swim team, but I feel so honored that they are swimming to support survivors and raise money to continue the efforts.

DHS Swim Team Logo

"C" is for...

 is the ability to confront fear, pain, danger, uncertainty, or intimidation.

(According to Wikipedia.)

Yep, it takes lots of this my friends!

But we can have courage to move forward in our lives 

- we just have to believe we can do it & appreciate where we are in our journey.

"B" is for...

So many things in life are intangible; we can't see the air but we know it's there, we can feel it on our face, we can watch its effects as it moves through the trees. And yet there are still so many things that we may not know or have answers for but we can BELIEVE.

Believe in Ourselves.

Believe in the love of Others.

Believe that Things WILL Work Out.

Believe that we can be better tomorrow than we are today.

We can Believe!

"A" is for....

What a good word - right?!  I think we all could have more appreciation of the good things we have in life.  Lately I have been experiencing a lot of overwhelming moments in my life (I'm going to blame it on my new hormone therapy) and I could certainly make quite a list for you, BUT like I said - I am going to try to forget them and focus on the good stuff.

I love my husband - he is so good to me.

I love my son - he is so kind to me.

I have an AMAZING family.

I need to appreciate them more!

I need to appreciate all the wonderful things
I can do & stop feeling sorry for myself over what I can't do.

Yep, I like this word!

Just for Fun!

I keep myself pretty busy, but every now and again I have some free time and I try to catch up on family and friends.  As I was reading the latest blog entry at Knee Deep in Grace, my Aunt shared something she is working on, taken from another blogger's challenge - Blogging through the Alphabet.  I thought that was a really fun idea.  However I am not sure I can take on the challenge and accomplish it the way it was intended.  But I really wanted to do it - so I thought I would give it a shot, just keep it simple and do on my own here.

Here goes - for "A" I am going with.....

I'm still here!

I must say I have not been very good with posting much lately, but I am happy to report that "I am still here" and doing really well.

This Valentine's day, February 14, 2013, was my two year mark for having completed all of my cancer treatments.  I am so excited - mostly because I finally feel like I am getting back to a remotely normal life again.  I'm not saying that I don't still have twenty pounds to loose and get tired much faster than I used too, but hey - I'm happy and enjoying my busy life with my husband and almost fourteen year old son.

This past month I have started a whole new phase of my ongoing treatments - what does that mean?  I have a whole lot of research to do and share.

First Things First

I must say - I feel as though I have failed my readers who may be experiencing cancer themselves by one important issue.  That is to say I have shared my experiences with you very randomly, 

but if you are starting out on your own journey with cancer

you need to know what is most important and how to put...

FIRST THINGS FIRST

I am approaching my third year since all of this cancer stuff began and I must say parts of it have been a serious learning curve - while other aspects where simply by the grace of God I was placed in the right place at the right time AND with the right doctors. 

I was given books, bought books, and read, read, read...

In all of those books the most important thing it discusses is setting up your medical team.

It is the FIRST thing you need to do!

After all, these are the people who you are going to get to know really well.

AND better yet should know you really well.

A lot of books and websites give you wonderful information about cancer, pathology reports, various treatments available, but they don't always tell you who to be talking to about the information.

It is important to know that if you have just found out you have cancer you most likely figured it out through your general physician or gynecologist.  They will help get you set up with the right people to run the various test you may need.  A biopsy being one of them - so a surgeon will most likely be one of the first people you are sent to.  

However I have found it rather surprising that that is as far as some people get.  

Your team of doctors will most likely consist of:

Surgeon

Medical Oncologist

Pathologist

Plastic Surgeon

Radiation Oncologist

Your list may also include a nutritionist, various support groups, and possibly a psyhcologist.

Personally I feel like at the time you select your surgeon you should also select an oncologist - whether this is the oncologist you stay with or not. An oncologist is a cancer doctor.  They will be the person who will best interpret your pathology report for you (which is key in determining what your medical treatment should be), they are the doctor who will create a treatment plan for you and make sure it is administered correctly.  They will become your best friend for a minimum of five years.  

You need to choose doctors who you like, trust, and are comfortable with.

Ask yourself:

Are they considerate of me?

Are they up to date on medical treatment options?

Do they view me as an individual with cancer and look for what is best for my type of cancer?

Are they informative and talk to me so that I understand?

I think it is also very important to point out that, although your general physician, family, and friends (as well as yourself) will want things to move as quickly as possible. Once you have a pathology report - You NEED to take the time to prepare your team of doctors and not just jump into a lumpectomy, mastectomy or any other surgery.  Once something has been done; often times too quickly and before you have fully prepared yourself with the right doctors, you loose options that may have been available to you but no longer are.

I also want to remind you that you have most likely had cancer longer than you think.  Waiting that extra week or two to have interviews with your doctors, ask them questions, get the answers you feel most comfortable with, and set up a team for you to spend the next several months, possibly years - is well worth the wait.  Never hesitate to ask for second opinions - your doctor should welcome that.  This is your body and most importantly your life.  After your surgery your doctor will return to his normal everyday routine.  You on the other hand will be living with it daily.

Do not allow someone who is only a small part of your cancer journey tell you what is best for you!

I was very blessed in this area - my doctors suggested an oncologist right from the start and together my oncologist and surgeon both agreed I needed treatment options that were not available to me with them.  BUT I was a very advanced stage III invasive cancer. 

 A lot of women who have stage I cancer are not sent onto an oncologist and therefore many of them don't really understand their pathology report.  They are scared of what the future may hold because they don't know enough about their cancer. Become your best advocate - read, learn!

Here are a couple of books I have found helpful information on forming a medical team:

Moments of Reflection

Today I sat down to check my emails and found I had a facebook link added to my timeline by one of my aunts.  I was of course curious and went straight way to the link.  

I was touched and overwhelmed with her sweet entry on her blog

 Knee Deep in Grace.  

As I read her post I couldn't help but remember the first time that I met her...she is married to my husband's uncle.  I am not even sure if I was married yet, but I do remember it was the first time I had met my husband's uncle and his family.  We were at another aunt's home with quite a few of us gathered for a family event.  My Aunt Penny had her brother with her and I remember how tentative she was to him and kind.  He was clearly in the process of his cancer treatment; tall, thin, and very comfortable with the mass of people.  I remember the thought crossing my mind that he was so young - really not much older than my husband and myself at the time.

I'm not sure why, but I even think of cancer as an illness you get when you are old.  When you see someone young it always has a significant impact on you.  It seems so out of order with the way we feel things should be.

So as I read I could not help but reflect on the many people who I have had in my life who have been effected by cancer.  Sadly there were quite a few.  Some old and some quite young, but all have become connected to me in a new way.

Finding cancer early is our best hope for successful outcomes.  

The best way to find it early is to know about it.

Take time to check it out...

Giving Thanks

Yesterday we had a lesson on gratitude at church and I couldn’t help but think of all the many things I have to be thankful for. I love this time of year; the weather changes, the scenery changes, it just feels good to get outside.  This morning I was able to take a nice deep breath and enjoy the time change.  I went for a walk while it was still cool outside with my mom and sister.  It is a good day!  I feel very blessed to have my family near me.

November seems to be the month that we all think of the things that we are thankful for, but this year it is much more for me.  I had my last chemo treatment the Monday before Thanksgiving last year.  I can hardly believe I am reaching so many of my year marks.  I also have two big tests lined up this month and will finally be able to know if I am cancer free.  I have to admit I feel a bit anxious.  To think of starting over or having more surgery is a bit overwhelming.  So I am going to stay positive and hope for the best.

Regardless though, I have never been more blessed and am thankful to be at this stage of my journey.

All Those Pretty Packages

I must say I had to temporarily put the lid on my breast cancer package so I could focus on my mom package.  It seems as though this time of year gets so busy so quickly.  One minute you are feeling pretty good, life is moving at a pace you can keep up with and then it hits, and things without a deadline get shifted to the back burner.  Well, I can tell you, that has definitely been the case around here.

I am looking forward to a weekend filled with plenty of treats and minimal tricks, and am hoping you all will have all the front porch greeting, monster meeting, and candy eating you can handle!

We Did It!

This was the first breast cancer walk I have participated in and can I say - WOW!  There were so many people.  It was inspiring. Yet another reason I am amazed by the outpouring of love and support.

Thank you to my team.  You guys were great.  I have to say I am so proud of my mother, she made it over two bridges and didn't even break into a cold sweat.

Beautiful Days

I love the changing of the seasons.  Here in Florida they are a little less noticeable than some places, but the signs are there.  Our trees are beginning to lose their leaves and many of the garden flowers are dying back.  Last week the air was even a bit cool.  It felt so nice to get outside.

Take a walk, go for a bike ride, work in the garden, anything!  For me getting outside is like losing myself to the lovely sights and sounds.  My mind clears and the stress leaves, even if it is temporary.  And I need that.  For many reasons, but especially to forget about myself for just a bit.  Forget about doctor's appointments and tests.  Just take time to feel like my old self.

I never forget my experience with cancer, but sometimes I need to try.  I need to let the worries and cares slip from my thoughts and enjoy the moment I am in - right at that very moment.

I hope you all will be able to get out and enjoy a little worry free time in your week as well. Happy fall!

I'm So Proud!

Yesterday I received an email about someone who is very dear to me and I couldn't help but share it with you all.  Last year was quite a crazy time for our family and just as I was finishing up my chemo, my husband's step mother was starting her journey with breast cancer.  She was officially diagnosed on December 27, 2010.

Her story was featured in this month's issue of Think Healthy, a magazine I was not familiar with, but now have read from cover to cover. Below is the link to their website as well as an online version of the issue for you to take a peek at..  Hope you enjoy it!

Think Healthy Magazine

Going Pink For Breast Cancer Awareness

Next month is Breast Cancer Awareness month.

Enjoy the video, get inspired, and get involved.  

Pretty Pink Packages is!

He's Probably Right

From time to time I will have my husband read over my blog posts to make sure I haven’t misspelled a word or such.  His comments always make me giggle.  Like yesterday’s post – he seemed to think the analogy of peeling an onion with some tears was more appropriate than unwrapping a pretty package. He’s probably right. And he has often teased me, saying that I chickened out on sharing my personal experience with you by having you read about it somewhere else.  He’s probably right there too.

But the thing is this; some parts are hard.  Hard to share, hard to read, and hard to deal with if you are in the same boat.  The biggest reason I didn’t care for blogs when I was at the start of my breast cancer is that they scared me.  Plain and simple!  I didn’t want to hear how awful something was that I had to have done in 2 days or next week.  Nor did I want to think it was a walk in the park and then get blindsided. 

I want you to feel like you have the information you need to ask the right questions and make good choices .  I do not in any way want to add anxiety to your situation (there is certainly enough of that already).  Questions are always welcome, and I am happy to share my personal experiences in detail with anyone who really wants to know, but it most likely will not be on my blog.

Food Nights, a Great Idea!

Things can get a little hairy in a hurry when you start your cancer treatments.  At least, for me that was the case.  Before I started my chemo treatment, I read a lot, trying to figure out what to expect.  There is a lot to chemo treatments (but I’ll save that for another post).  Let’s just say, I wasn’t the picture of the woman on the pamphlet who still could go for walks everyday and go to work and make dinner, and…  However, I wasn’t in the bathroom all day and night either.   For about the first eight weeks I was in bed most of the time.  The next round of chemo was much kinder.  But, I was really tired all the time, and I had a hard time being much, if any, help to my family.  My mother, the amazing woman that she is, would take care of me, my house, my son, and would try to make dinner for us every night.  It didn’t take long for her to realize that she too needed some help.

So, food nights became our solution.  We belong to the best family outside of our own family – it’s our church.  These sweet ladies signed up to bring dinner for us once a week.  And, my mother-in-law solicited help from our family and friends for one night a week.  We now were blessed with two meals each week.  This was another great blessing to my family.  In two ways really, the food, of course, eased the burdens of my husband and mother, but in addition, it was so nice for me to get to see friendly faces. 

It may be hard to comprehend how something like food nights could make such a difference in one’s life, but it was the difference between overwhelmed and staying afloat.

A Great Blessing

I have to share with you all one of my greatest blessing during my chemo.  It was my sweet mother.  I mentioned before how she and my mother-in-law cleaned each week for me, but that was really just the tip of the iceberg.  Actually an iceberg is a great analogy for my mom.  On the surface she is a pretty woman with a sweet smile, yet underneath she is an amazing being.  She is powerful, smart, compassionate, and the glue that binds our family together.

You must know that my mother can accomplish more in the first few hours of the day than most people do in a week.  Literally!  I’m not sure how, but I’m pretty sure she doesn’t sleep.  After getting her house in order and taking care of my dad, she would come to take care of me.  It became our new routine.  She would come as my husband left and start my first juice of the day as I was getting out of bed.  Then without fail she would make scrambled eggs for me.  I must tell you, my mother hates eggs.  The smell of them makes her sick (actually she is allergic to sulfur), but for whatever reason scrambled eggs seemed to be the only thing that would stay down and that I wanted to eat.  So this beautiful woman would make them for me, everyday.  Five months of making eggs is a long time. She would then make my second juice of the day and visit with my son and I as I ate.   

I cannot begin to express my love and appreciation for her, nor can I adequately describe her to you in this short post, but she was to me, then and always, a great blessing.

Chemo Cleaning

“God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs.” - Spencer W. Kimball.  Sometimes in life we are blessed beyond our wildest dreams.  Amazingly it doesn’t have to be grand gestures or elaborate gifts.   It is the small, and sometimes not so small, acts of service that can make all the difference in someone’s life. 

My mom didn’t feel comfortable taking me to chemo.  I would often get sick, and it was too hard for her. So, during my five months of chemo, I was blessed to have she and my mother-in-law come each week and clean my house.  Every Monday as I would go to Jacksonville, they would meet at my house and clean.  They would vacuum and mop, do my laundry, and change my linens so that when I returned home I could crawl into a clean bed.  I was also blessed by two dear friends who would come and clean for me during this time as well.  They cleaned bathrooms, windows, and even bathed my dog! I cannot begin to express how much this meant to my family. 

Often it is easier to serve a friend in need than to allow them to serve us, but during this time I took all the help I could get.  My mother-in-law happily referred to it as “Monday Chemo Cleaning”, but to me it was much more.

Cancer & Breasts

Somewhere in something I read early on said that you will have several versions of your story.  This is true.  As people ask how you are, your answers really do vary.  I tend to be fairly private so for me telling people about much of anything was hard.  You have your answers for those close to you and you have what I found lovingly referred to as “your Hollywood answer”. 

Be careful how much of yourself you put out there because people do not always respond the way you might think.  Cancer and breast are two words that evoke an array of feelings.  Let’s face it, when you hear the word cancer it is immediate fear associated with death.  Breasts – well with this word most people either blush or giggle.  Put them together and who knows what kind of response you may get. Truly I cannot begin to express the odd comments that I have heard – all with the best intentions.  

Luckily, I had an amazing support system of family and friends who encircled me and shielded me from much of the real world.  For them I am eternally grateful.