I have never been one who likes to be in front of the camera, and I am not so good behind it either. My husband on the other hand is pretty good, so over the years he has taken quite a few I really like. Sadly though, as my son has gotten older we have not taken so many. Before my surgery, or in my mind “life as I knew it”, I wanted some family photos.
I’m not sure why this was so important to me, but it was. I guess in my mind I knew I was about to change and I wanted to have something to hold onto that would remind me of what I was like before all of this crazy breast cancer. My sister-in-law was kind enough to come our way and take some beautiful photos – she actually does photography. The pictures turned out perfect. I was so happy!
I don’t have a lot of pictures of me during all of my cancer treatments, which I know some people like to. But for me, I didn’t want my family to remember me that way (if, Heaven forbid, something were to happen). I also found it hard to see myself that way – I didn’t really recognize myself, and it made me feel like I had lost myself to the cancer.
Today, well, I don’t have many pictures of me at this stage either. (A few good one’s from my niece’s wedding.) Still don’t feel I look like myself just yet, but it gives me something to work towards. Not to mention all the old photos I never liked so much are looking a lot better!
Here is a picture my sister-in-law took the weekend before my surgery - June 2010.
